my · life

hey everyone, I decided to make a handful of awesomely carved pumpkin icons, since Halloween is right around the corner! :)

teasers:


( TRICK or TREAT )

♣REMEMBER♣
♥Comments are love
♠Credit (to pianokitten) is amazing
♦Enjoy!

x-posted with love

ahhh finally got a new tattoo. I've been wanting this for a while. It's a cherry blossom branch with flowers... Sunset Ink, Sunset Beach, CA (OC area). I got it done by Ralf, the apprentice there, for FREE (however I have him $70 because it was awesome and that's all the cash i had on me). I was planning on just getting something smaller, or adding to another tattoo i already had.. but he drew up the branch and everything, exactly how i wanted it and was like "what the hell" and went for it. it took about 6 hours (and about 5 breaks) to finish it. i know it probably shouldnt have taken that long, but apparently he'd only been tattooing for 6 mos? pretty good on that end. and it turned out GREAT i think. obviously the pictures i'm posting are totally fresh, and the pink on the flowers is going to fade a great deal, and the swelling will go down a whole lot.

side note, has anyone ever gotten a tattoo up there on your shoulder and while it's happening, feel it simultaneously down the whole side of your body? haha my leg was so fucking twitchy while it was getting done! haha

but yay! here's my tattoo:

( In the cherry blossom's shade, there's no such thing as a stranger. )

By special request from mercat, here are 60 SHAG Pink Panther 40th Anniversary icons.

Please credit me, pianokitten, if you take any! ***THESE ARE NOT BASES***

Preview:

1	2	3	4	5	6

( Pink Panther by SHAG )


REMEMBER:
♥Comment
♥Credit pianokitten
♥Enjoy!

So I ♥ Josh Agle, better known as the artist SHAG. He's my favorite artist, and has been since 2003 when I saw his work for the first time.

Anyways, I made a bunch of icons yesterday from his set "Conspicuous Consumption". I also plan to make more for the rest of his stuffs! :)

Please comment and tell me how you like them or don't like them, and please make sure you credit me, pianokitten, if you use them! Also, ***THESE ARE NOT BASES!***

Thank you!!!

Conspicuous Consumption
preview:

1	2	3
4	5	6

( The Mentalist )

( Lady Z )

( Lady Prometheus )

( Glorious Lifestyle )

( Bear Ball )

( Banderillero )

REMEBER:
♥Comment
♥Credit pianokitten
♥Enjoy!

I used to have a LOT of fun. Not exactly more fun than I have now, just a different kind of fun. I loved the friends I had and am still grateful for the friends I have, the new ones and the old ones. I'm so very grateful for my husband-- he has made my life better in so many ways. I'm grateful for my family and the better relationships I have with my parents, and I'm also grateful for my new family, courtesy of my husband. Kevin, Jo, Bonnie, and everyone else that have welcomed me into their family... it's so great to make new friends and be able to call them my family.


Now, what spurred this random bout of "me so lonely" attitude? Actually, it was reading Helen's old LJ posts from around 2005... 2005 was a pretty good year. Some trying times to say the least, but all-in-all, one of my favorite years. That was the year that I became very close with Helen and was lucky enough to call her one of my best friends. I got further into it and sort of was reading the "beginning of the end" for us, and by that, I mean- that was when another individual stepped in and kind of threw the both of us for a loop, and even though we had a hell of a time getting to the point during it, now we can look back and say this person DEFINITELY got in the middle of us and tore it down. Thankfully, even though she and I grew "apart" over the last couple of years, 2008 we spent building it up again. We're closer-- nothing like we used to be, but I hope we can be again soon. In fact, I look forward to being that close again. It's hard because not BOTH of us are married! Definitely a plus from where she and I sat in '05, and both or our men get along really well, but also makes it difficult to get together--- it's FANTASTIC being adults, eh?

So I'm not exactly "lonely" persay, more lonely for what I used to do. I kind of wish we could just step back into it and have it be like it was. I also kind of wish Mike could have experienced even a week of what my eventful life used to be, just so he knows what I mean when I say "I miss Helen" or "I'm bored, let's do something." I swear.... saying that to Mike is like saying "hey, let me pluck your pubes." SERIOUSLY! He hates it when I say "I'm bored, let's do something." It's the total opposite reaction of what it used to be.... when I said that to Helen long ago, I got a "ok let's go to Disneyland!" or "K, let's just drive" and then we'd end up at UCSB and back down to Disneyland in one freakin day.

Now we're all grown up and tired and doing things for the people we love and not so much for ourselves. I'm starting to understand those movies with the basis of the "wives clubs" where the women get together and talk and drink and have fun... hahaha that was so lame, but i mean it!

anyways, dear Helen, if you are reading this like I'm sure you are, let me say this:

I am so sorry for all the really REALLY dumb things that happened in the past. Not the good dumb things, the bad dumb things. I really do cherish all the fun times we had together and I don't think I could ever forget them, even if I tried-- but that would be stupid, because I'd never want to forget them. I'm really happy to call you my friend, and I'm sad we're not like we used to be, but I hope we can build it back up and at least make new awesome good times to remember foreva! I still love you mucho, like I always have!





And to everyone else reading this-- yeah, it sounds gay, no- it's not gay... well... maybe a little bit.. but not the kind of gay your thinking. so... REFRAIN FROM THE GAY COMMENTS OR I'LL GET REALLY PISSED OFF. thank you. :) hahahahaha

John was definitely sudden, as were the others, but i'm only 23, so i wasnt alive or "aware" for all of those (minus princess diana). I was definitely impacted by Diana's death, but the one that affected me the most is George Harrison's death! I was at my high school when I found out he died, and of course I cried. My school and teachers didn't understand why I was so affected by his death. DUH He's a Beatle! I got sent to the nurse, then I got sent to the school psychologist (I didn't even know we had one of those), and she kept asking me why i was sad, if i had a history of depression, all those kind of questions... and all I could really say besides my being completely baffled was "Do you even know who George Harrison is? Do you know who the Beatles are??" like really lady, come on now.

The rain has come... and now is when I start panicking. Well, I started much earlier today, but I haven't chosen to write anything about it until now... before bed... when I have time to think and dwell on it.

I'm getting a blood test tomorrow at 4:30.

I'm kind of freaked out, because this is the start of me and Mike on our little trail... leading us to knowing whether we go left or right at the fork in the road. Are we going to be able to have children? This is going to change our lives forever... as if they haven't changed enough already.

Isn't that a strange thing to have to wonder? Myself, being a woman from a family who has never had a problem bringing children into the world, and my husband being a man who's family also gives many to the human race... now both of us wondering why? Why, in three years, have we been unsuccessful in conceiving children? Why, of going three years, seeing people and friends and family get pregnant and have children of their own... when they're not ready for them or don't even want them, we want so much to be able to start a family... why has it not happened? Is something wrong with me? Is something wrong with Mike? Probably not... but of course, it makes us wonder and question the health of ourselves and each other. We've made up excuses, and have come up with some of the strangest "What If" scenarios... but still, probably not.

On my 23rd birthday, December 3rd, 2008, I will also be having a Hysterosalpingogram (HSG) http://www.webmd.com/infertility-and-reproduction/guide/hysterosalpingogram-21590

That's going to tell us even more.

I have such mixed feelings about all this. One part of me just wants to hand my prayers to God, like I've been doing for the last three years... but another part of me holds those prayers in question... as if they're being answered by me finding my doctor and him wanting to start these procedures with me and my husband. It is such a random thing to have found my doctor in such rush conditions, and picking him in about 10 minutes... come to find he is probably one of the nicest men I have ever met and wanting nothing more than for the happiness and well-being of me and Mike. He's not trying to force me to do all these off-the-wall procedures that cost us our lives... he's taking care of us.

It's almost like getting married again (yeah we all know that Mike and I rushed quick-style to the altar), everything seems like it's going to take a while then all-of-a-sudden it's tomorrow... it's in a week... it's happening, it's really happening and I'm not stopping it. I'm not backing down, Mike's not backing down, we're taking another step forward. We have our hands held tight to one another, with all the love in the world mashed right in our palms, stepping forward on our path together.

How lucky are we to have each other?

I know I couldn't imagine doing this with anyone else in the world, and I know he feels the same way.

He is my love and my heart, my life, my rock and anchor... he is my husband... my other half. I have loved him from the beginning, and that is the only thing that's changed since... my love for him grows more and more every day.

When we started out, we started out together.

We were deep in the woods, not on any path (we had yet to make one), shrouded in the ominous dark trees of the disapproving, negative world. But as we stood there, hand in hand, with only the love and protection from each other, we saw our light shining through... our love was guiding us out. We knew it was time to make our path in the world and walk out out of the darkness, together. As these very short years have passed by, we've stepped far out of the dark, but not far enough to not see it. It's still there, and we can still look back-- if we wanted to. But personally, I think we're doing quite well on our path...

Which way will it take us? How will our lives change?
Everything happens for a reason... but what will happen?

I couldn't pick a more perfect man to be with. I love you, Michael James Calvert!!






...it feels very good to write what I'm thinking. I haven't truly done it for something other than a weep-fest in a very long time...

As most of you know, I went to the doctors today, because of what happened Saturday! (Rockabilly day at disneyland was on saturday, as were the "triangle fires", and smoke was EVERYWHERE and i gots sick)

This doctor is basically a random doctor I had to pick really fast because Mike had to turn in the paperwork with his office... so I found him and picked him in probably 20 minutes. As it turns out, this is probably the best doctor I've ever seen. Seriously. Nicest, nicest guy in the world. Basically he's just like Mike, but 24 years older. (i did the math based on something he told me haha)

Anyways, he tells me it's a combination of allergies (from the winds) and a reaction to the smoke... so for my allergies he recommended Zyrtec (I already have Claratin, but I figured, hey why not) and also prescribed low-dose Vicadin. I KNOW it's addictive, but it's very low dose, and i do not have an addiction issue with anything... other than surveys... haha, so I will be fine. It's just to relax the muscles so I stop coughing.

Something else we talked about is the fact that Mike and I have been trying for 3 years to have a baby, but nothing has happened... he asked if I was interested in starting some infertility/fertility tests and I said yes, of course, so long as they're inexpensive....

SO starting on my next period (yeah, interesting TMI right?) he's going to get me x-rayed and blood tested and get the ball rolling!!! AHHHHHHHH I'M SO EXCITED!!! i seriously get butterflies thinking about it. :P

I can't believe after 3 years of trying, we're going to get to the bottom of this once and for all and figure out if we can get preggers!! :D

I also found out, that from the time of us moving into this new place, to now, I have lost 25 pounds!!!!!!! so what... from August 16th to now... that's 3 months. ahhhhhhh......................... :D :D :D



so ya... random update, but a fancy one! :)

everyone has different beliefs... PLEASE no matter what you support or what you believe, make sure you make it known... make sure you get out to your polls today and GO VOTE!
dont get discouraged by long lines... that just means that there are tons of people wanting to do what you want to do! Get it done, you have ONE DAY. Make your vote count. Make your voice heard. GO VOTE!

I'm voting NO on 8 whether you like it or not... why don't you do the same... vote, regardless of what anyone thinks. That's the beauty of this great country!!! LET YOURSELF BE HEARD!!!!!!

despite popular belief, YOU DO COUNT. YOUR VOTE COUNTS. GO VOTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Black with Red Trim & White Wall Tires: $180
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Pale Yellow with Pink Trim, White Basket, and White Wall Tires: $150
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Both for $300!!

let me know if you're interested! Or forward this along to someone who would be interested!!!